Turning 50 is the new 40. Or even the new 30. And no, these are not unrealistic stock phrases. If years ago women insisted on taking years off, now we shout our age from the four winds. And we do it by praising the emotional benefits of maturing without insisting on pretending to be another age. Demi Moore once said: “I’d rather be a beautiful woman my age than desperately try to look like I’m 30.” We have already talked about how the term antiaging is beginning to be declared over and why we no longer insist on erasing wrinkles. But today we want to focus solely and exclusively on all the good things that a birthday has on a mental and emotional level.
Nivea recently made public a study carried out to find out the personal perception of beauty and care of Spanish women between 45 and 70 years of age. And it gave a piece of information 90% of the respondents feel confident and good in their own skin. They believe that each age is a stage of life that must be enjoyed and this idea is reinforced even more in women over 60 years of age. Undoubtedly, some significant data that we wanted to discuss with Pilar Conde, psychologist and director of Clínicas Origen, and with Dr. Sergio Oliveros Calvo, psychiatrist, director of the Doctor Oliveros Group and member of Top Doctors.
Know what you want (really)
Both Conde and Oliveros insist that at 50 women are clear about what they want. “Different life experiences allow us to become more clear about our values and decide what we want to invest our time, effort and concerns in. This leads us to respond according to our criteria and less with respect to what is expected of us,” says Conde. The psychologist insists that when we act according to our own criteria, we feel greater self-esteem. “As Jaques Lacan says, at this age the woman is between two deaths, the biological one (to come) and the one of her youthful fantasies (which has already happened). She knows what she wants, she knows her needs and she is not willing to cover them with substitutes or artifices. Under normal conditions, women in this age range, when they have reached maturity, are capable of giving up if they cannot find what they are looking for because it is usually enough to feel good. That gives them greater self-esteem”, explains Oliveros Calvo.
Self-control and better decision-making
The peace of mind that gives importance only to those things that have it, also goes hand in hand with vital experiences and the fact of having a birthday. As Pilar Conde explains, “well-managed experience helps us reinforce our strengths and the way we regulate our emotions, both positive and negative experiences. It’s not just the experience that time gives me, but the skills -manage our emotions, self-control, decision making, problem solving– which have been developing and strengthening”, explains the psychologist.
Greater personal satisfaction
There are many adult women who have confirmed, with inspiring phrases, feeling better than at 30. An example? This great quote from Cindy Crawford. “I’m happier with my body at 40 than I was at 20, because the body I have today is the one I worked for. I have a better relationship with it. From an aesthetic standpoint, my body was better at my 22 or 23, but I didn’t enjoy it. I was too busy comparing it to other people.” Sergio Oliveros Calvo confirms that while personal satisfaction decreases up to 40, it suffers a progressive rebound after 50. In part, the increase in this personal satisfaction has to do with the experience. This is how the psychiatrist explains it: “Experience, above all, moves us away from idealization, which keeps us closer to reality and that gives us greater access to happiness and well-being. We do not relativize, but rather evaluate more accuracy reality. We do not need the pageantry of beauty and we do not allow ourselves to be fooled by appearances”. And all this, according to the doctor, helps us spend less affective energy, which increases our personal satisfaction.
Experience helps anticipate results
In line with the previous one, experience is certainty and certainty is tranquility . “We are capable of anticipating results and that allows us to rule out experiences before they harm us. We know what we like and what we hate and we know that we don’t have to settle for what hurts us,” explains Oliveros Calvo. A personal experience that also goes hand in hand with a social context that has changed favorably and that, as Pila Conde emphasizes, offers development opportunities that last longer. “What is expected of a woman at 50 is different from what happened a few years ago,” explains the expert. “All of this makes it easier for us to continue strengthening our personal confidence with what we like and what challenges us, regardless of how old we are”. Greater security, more peace of mind, self-control and better handling of situations and emotions, doing what we really like. That being said, praise the 50s, the 60s, and the 70s…